Control or Surrender

Last week was a breakthrough period in the practice and my own personal development. It was the busiest week I've had in a couple of years, with the highest number of appointments in a week. I was also up before 5.30am on three mornings, to attend 6.30am Prayer Meetings at KingsGate, followed by breakfast with friends at cafes around the city. I still had the energy to go to Bannatyne's gym too. This has broken my fear of nervous exhaustion or burnout - old patterns that have held me back in the past. This fresh energy and new confidence is the fruit of many years of spiritual development, monthly sessions of kinesiology and craniosacral therapy, quarterly mentoring and annual training updates. It confirms that my passion for helping people to overcome their own fears and achieve a breakthrough is based on proven pathways to freedom. A key issue for releasing more energy into fruitful and enjoyable daily living has emerged from the work at the practice this week. This key issue is control versus surrender. One of the ways we might deal with our feelings of insecurity is by trying to control our circumstances - either by our actions or by thinking ahead all the time. Because controlling thoughts, imaginings, fantasies or criticisms happen silently in our heads we think they are harmless. However, they can be absolutely exhausting. The brain burns up huge amounts of water and proteins with constant mental chatter. The various scenarios and analysis produce physical, interconnected neural pathways that clutter up the brain.

The need for control can be most damaging when it comes to our relationships. Many of us carry an unconscious script that says 'control or be controlled'. We may unintentionally try to control others by insisting they do things the way we would do them, or stick to routines or habits that seem correct to us. The opposite trap is to give away our power to another adult, hoping we will have peace if we don't 'upset' them. The tension of 'walking on egg shells' or constantly ignoring our own needs slowly drains the life force out of us or causes emotional eruptions when we can contain ourselves no longer. A healthy way to break the control cycle is by surrendering into the truth. This is a skill that takes practice and may need alot of support initially. Surrender is about softening into the flow of life. This ability transforms a life from helpless victimhood into power and security. Surrendering into divine providence is a huge relief from having to be in control all the time.

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