The group leader only briefly mentioned the 'Cinderella Complex' as being stuck in a fantasy that one day 'Prince Charming' or 'Snow White' would come along and make all your dreams come true. What a revelation of how we can be stuck in imagining that perfect wife in the kitchen or handsome millionaire husband. I used to think there was no harm in such fantasies but now I can see they're incredibly damaging. When we have a teenage fantasy image of a future partner, we will be programmed to only recognise people who match that template - tall/neat, blond/dark/red hair, blue/brown/green eyes, fast car, good job/trust fund, excellent cook, great social circle, intellectual etc. We can't see, or we completely disregard, the REAL people we meet along the way. This can lead to months, years or even a lifetime of being without a partner and to having unfulfilled needs and desires. But what if we DO meet that 'knight in shining armour' or 'princess doll'? If the fairytale comes true, we will ignore the few things that don't match our fantasy template at first, thereby missing warning signs of the challenges ahead. As more issues come up that threaten our fairytale romance, we might get quite annoyed with the other person and try to get them to sort themselves out. We could start to blame ourselves for not being good enough for this wonderful person. Meanwhile our partner is finding it increasingly impossible to fit into and live up to the unrealisticly high expectations of the relationship. So the 'Cinderella Complex' leads to disaster, one way or another. Let it go. Stop comparing your current situation with your imaginary, fairytale life. Tear up those old images and throw them onto the refiners fire of truth. Accept life as it flows and ebbs around you. Cry, grieve, rage, sleep, shout, sing or do whatever you need to clear these illusions from the past out of your system. When the dust settles and the ashes cool you can step out into the freedom of really living the dream of who you are.
Pathway Balancing sets you free to be your true self. To find support for your journey, e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org Corrina Kennedy, Peterborough, Cambridgeshire UK.