People often embark on a course of therapy or personal development because of a sense of something being broken or something missing. Further along the way, this same problem has now become the best thing that could have happened. The years will pass anyway so we may as well choose to make every day a better one and head for the best personal vision we can come up with.
We are largely powerless in our attempts to stop life causing us hurts or problems. Other people make choices or behave towards us in ways we may not like. Sometimes it's just the weather that creates havoc or hold ups. I believe it's how we respond to events that makes the difference to the outcome. I also think it's OK to feel how hurt we are, to acknowledge our sadness, tiredness, anger or defeat because it's part of the reality of human experience. But this is where the biggest difference arises in those who have therapy, personal development courses or spiritual growth programmes. We don't stay there too long!! Woohoo!! Let's get the lesson we need from this experience and then get out so we can be somewhere better.
Mind and Body
Learning a lesson from a painful experience turns the whole situation around into an empowering and liberating one. This is why it's so important to feel those less comfortable emotions and physical symptoms when they arise - rather than denial (ignoring) or dissociation (avoiding). As the inner or outer crisis begins happening, slow down and become fully aware of your body. What does your skin register as a sensation or temperature? How is your breathing going, in your chest and your nostrils? Can you feel your heart beat? Then just RELAX. Yes, I know, it's so counter-cultural isn't it? Aren't you supposed to be stressed, upset and tense? I've found this practise of relaxation in the moment to be hilarious, empowering and SO freeing in recent months. I felt myself to be secretly in charge of my situation, calm and centered, while those around me were going into meltdown, raging, turning white and having a nosebleed - literally!
Within this calm, centered physical space, begin to notice your mind, your thoughts and then slow these down too. You could simply think 'Stop!' and then come back to how your heart feels. You might say "Thank you" to the part of your being that is alerting you to a potential threat and then ask inwardly "So, how do we deal with this point here, right now?" Stop yourself from racing into imaginary scenarios and joining way too many dots at a time. Be focused, like a laser beam. The art of retraining your mind is priceless. One of the simplest and most powerful truths I've found is the saying 'Be transformed by the renewing of your mind' from the Book of Romans, Chapter 12, in the New Testament. Habitual destructive thoughts can sabotage your best efforts at building a better life. It's well worth nurturing sensations of comfort, enjoyment in your work, pleasure in good company and exploring ideas for creating something you love and value.
Heart and Soul
The dominant theme in Pathway Balancing sessions for many months has been that of the heart. This centre, this powerful electromagnetic field, is a key to our soul, our identity, our wellspring of deeper truths. It is where we formulate our most sparkling jewels of creativity, our unique and priceless personal expression and the deepest and most fulfilling of relationships and personal bonds from joyful experiences. The trouble is that we live in a world with so many people who could be described as unconscious, or unaware. When a person is unaware of their own wounding, or their sabotaging behavior, they usually continue to act out the same script or repeat the same damaging behavior. When the hurts of life are not resolved, they keep reappearing as the same old patterns. Such unconsciousness, lack of awareness or unwillingness to take responsibility can cause wounding to the hearts of others. As a result, wounding of the heart is very common in those who seek help and healing.
If a heart wound is very deep, or left unresolved for years or even decades, it can begin to infect our soul, the core of our being, the very essence of who we are. The 'scab' over a wounded heart can cause us to shut down, become depressed, abandon creative projects or become isolated. If you've spent years walking on egg shells because someone close to you might "go ballistic" how can you develop as the person you truly are? If you've tried for decades to appeal to another so they would care for you, how do you know who you really are? A new Step in one of the Clearings in the Pathway Balancing Journey is 'Knowing and Being Known' as the way to build an intimate and growing heart based relationship. How can you do this if you've been living a lie to protect your wounded heart and soul? We all need coping mechanisms as temporary 'scaffolding' to protect and support our soul and heart at times. However, while that scaffolding is in place it's vital to get on with the deeper work that needs doing for life to thrive and flow again. It's time to take hold of the broken threads, where the damaged part of your life has had to be removed so you could heal. Gateway 43 on the Journey is called 'Pulling Together the Threads of Life to Fulfill Your Dreams' and it's situated on the Pathway Balancing 'mountain' at Level 5 'The Dreamweaver'. Be here and simply relax. Reach deep into your heart and soul and let the salt water of your tears flush out the old illusions. Once you can see things clearly you will not need to make false turns down the wrong road ever again. This time you can take a different path and let your healed and whole heart lead you in a better way. Corrina, Pathway Balancing, Peterborough, Cambridgeshire.
Relaxing More - Check out the work of Alan Cohen, author of the books 'Relax into Wealth, and 'Radical Contentment' at his website here
Getting Help - Have a look at the 'Energy and Relaxation' section of the Pathway Balancing website here