So how do you determine a person's worth? Some Financial Advisors categorise clients as 'High Net Worth' if they have assets valued at more than £250,000. A company may decide an employee is worth a salary of £26,000 a year. An employment agency could set a person's worth at £8.40 an hour. How does a professional set their hourly client fee? Perhaps someone could be described as 'worth their weight in gold'. Or maybe each individual is actually priceless, and of inestimable value, as the unique creation and image of God. How then do you determine your own worth and value? Well this month I saw this question answered with one client after another, seeing different sides of the same coin so to speak.
Looking for Love
Lots of single people are looking for the right person for some form of loving relationship. I'm an avid watcher of Channel 4's 'First Dates'. It fascinates me to see the whole range of age groups represented. Whether they've never married, have been through divorce or been widowed, there seems to be so many common threads among all the people. Often the person will share their story of being hurt or disappointed in a previous attempt at finding love. Such painful experiences can leave a person with a low sense of self worth. Each participant on the show is taking a very courageous step in reaching out to find love again. Finding real love may mean a period of withdrawal and healing before stepping out again. This time the mistakes of the past have been a valuable lesson that will protect against the same hurts happening again. As one single and searching client put it, "I care too much for myself to waste my time on someone who doesn't show me respect". That's how you determine your worth and value. When you care enough for who are, as a uniquely created and priceless person, you don't allow another person to devalue you, or dishonour your core values. You have the strength to walk away. You have a life that builds you up and is enjoyable.
The Value of Relationships
Taking good care of yourself is one aspect of healthy self-worth but what about relationships with others? The value of hurtful relationships comes from the lessons learnt. The more you take responsibility for caring for yourself, the more you can see the other person's destructive behaviour as not your fault. As you step back from people who drain, distract or use your energy, you become free to see those people who are genuinely caring. You begin to learn how to trust appropriately. You can accept help and support, as well as just have a good laugh together. As you regain your strength, you can even be a blessing to others and judge when to be more generous. A new Step in the Pathway Balancing Journey today says "Spiraling into a new season of new relationships". This Step emerged in Level 6 'Transformation'. Relational transformation can also pay dividends financially. When you are more confidently engaged in relating to people, you are more likely to contribute positively in your work, by serving the greater good of your clients, customers, colleagues, suppliers or team members. You care enough about yourself to say no to being overwhelmed, heavily pressurised or treated disrespectfully. So how do you determine your worth? Look at the way you care for yourself. Reflect on how you allow people to treat you. Check your capacity for giving in service and kindness to others. Keep cultivating the precious value of loving, caring, supportive relationships and see how much more worthwhile your life becomes.
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Check out Susan Page's excellent book 'If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?' HERE.