The Surrendered Heart

Central to the work of 'Healing the Soul' in Pathway Balancing Kinesiology is the need to heal the heart and be restored to wholeness as a result. The deepest wounds to our soul are those that happen to the heart. Our heart is most wounded by loss of relationship of any kind. It is therefore within relationship that our heart needs to be healed, even if a period of withdrawal is required before we can undertake this relational healing journey. At the early stage of raw pain from lost relationship it may be too much to engage with people or even with any concept of God. The safest place to open such a wounded heart is in relation to the creation around us. Healing is experienced when we can cry at a beautiful sunset, be wowed by a rainbow, thrilled by a thunderstorm, smile at seeing a little frog or family of foxes. At this point we might connect with the Creator of all this beauty and begin to connect with the Divine Heart. Safe contact with people might start indirectly, through books, T.V. or the Internet. Then connections may be in person but with firm boundaries, such as professional contacts, a group leader or a therapist. Once the heart can open here it may be time to form more personal relationships with acquaintances, a small group of friends, closer friends and finally a potential intimate partner. But what's to stop the heart being wounded again and the past hurt and damage to the soul being repeated?

If a person closes or covers their heart again, they may be safe from hurt but will also be trapped in some degree of isolation. There are two clues that this is happening - Fantasy and Rules. Fantasy permits relationship on our own terms, for our self-satisfaction, under our control. Rules keep relationships under our control, according to our terms and in line with our expectations. But Fantasy doesn't satisfy for long and Rules deaden a relationship. The belief that we are in control in a relationship is an illusion. If we try to control the other person we lose the truth of who they are and lose part of our own soul in the process. The way to a real relationship is through the heart and for the relationship to grow and be fulfilling the heart must be open, filled and overflowing with love and all it's qualities. False love is a self-satisfying feeling, an emotional high, the pleasure of things going our way. It has nothing to do with the other person and makes us sick with fear, longing, anger and manipulation. True love is much bigger than we are. True love is generous, compassionate, flowing, and constant. To find this bigger source of love we must look higher than ourselves or any other finite, limited human being. In the words of the character Don Draper in the SKY Atlantic TV series 'Mad Men', "I hate to break it to you, but the Universe is indifferent." To find the heart of the Divine we must look for a Divine Person who has transcended human and earthly limitations. Once we find and build a relationship of trust with the Divine heart, we can then let go of the illusion that we are, or even need to be, in control in our relationships. Once we can fill and refill our heart with Divine true love,we are free to live surrendered lives, to let go of rigid expectations and be merciful to ourselves and others. The Rules dissolve into firm principles and the Fantasy drops into appreciation of a persons good qualities. The illusion dies within us and we face the truth with the courage to seek love with an open, overflowing heart. We can look openly into the eyes of another soul and feel our boundaries melt in the presence of the surrendered heart.

The 'Heart Consciousness' and 'Healing the Soul' manuals are both part of the Pathway Balancing system. Contact us for an individual session, one-day group or the personal development and training course on info@pathwaybalancing.co.uk Corrina Kennedy, Peterborough, Cambridgeshire UK