Leaving the home of our family of origin is a major rite of passage, probably happening around age 21years. However, leaving home fully, and stepping into the freedom of full maturity, may take years longer, even decades more or maybe never happens at all! Part of the Pathway Balancing Soul Journey may involve rooting out flawed patterns that we embody from our childhood family. When we are too small to understand the behaviour of our parents, we find ways to temporarily deal with our unmet needs until our parents are able to pay us adequate attention again. If our parents lack maturity, they may never understand, or be able to meet, our needs adequately. This can leave us with a gaping hole in our heart and soul that we try to fill as we grow bigger. Unfortunately, if we don't know how to fill these needs in a healthy way, we may choose temporary fixes that don't last and can actually harm us. We can grow up with self-sabotaging patterns that manifest more & more loudly in our lives until we are either forced to deal with the issue or be destroyed it.
If we leave our family home with a pattern of unmet needs, we will replicate the pattern of this hole in our soul. We will see it in our relationships - with other people, with God, with money and with ourselves. If there is a damaging or unsatisfying pattern in your life today, think back to your childhood and see when this began. Do you let people take advantage of you financially? Do you keep ending relationships or have people walked out on you? Have you burnt out trying to prove you are good enough? Once you hit the spot, you'll feel it as a strong emotional charge. Give yourself space to cry, shout, sleep or talk about it. Process this material as often as you have strength. The aim is not to forget that old pattern but to discharge the embodied emotion left behind by it. The day will come when you can think or talk about your worst moment with only a trace of the feeling associated with it. It is no longer a source of trauma but has become a valuable pearl of wisdom.
When you can go back to your childhood roots and face the truth of your hurts and wants, you can see the part of your soul that was left behind when the rest of you left home. That part of your soul has been trying to get your needs met all these years, wanting to be heard, to be understood, to be cared about. Now that you have rediscovered it, you can take it home with you. You can be kind to yourself, invest in your own development, choose to be around people who are gentle, fun, interesting and be able to avoid the nutters! Take time to forgive your parents, yourself and even God if you need to. Reclaim that part of your soul that was left behind in the childhood home and begin to enjoy the freedom and power of full adulthood from this day forward.
Corrina Kennedy, Peterborough, Cambridgeshire UK. E-MAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org TWITTER: @pathwaybalance FACEBOOK: Pathway Balancing Kinesiology Training