Unhealthy relationships are often rooted in the Drama Triangle of an Oppressor, Victim and Rescuer. As we become more aware and mature in our relationships we see signs of the Triangle dissolving. The Victim realises they have a choice and acts on it, stepping out of the trap and into freedom. The Oppressor discovers they have no more power over the Victim and has an opportunity to see their own vulnerability and act more safely. The Rescuer finds that they are the one in need of care and attention and can behave with more tenderness. As the old patterns dissolve there is space for the new pattern to be woven and built up. The new pattern is the Unity Triangle, which comprises Self, Other and God. At the base of this Triangle are two people in relationship with one another. The relationship can be a close personal relationship, a friendship, a professional connection or any other form of one to one relationship. In the Drama Triangle there is a Parent-Child dynamic between people, with one behaving with a 'one-up' or 'one-down' attitude towards the other. The base of the Unity Triangle is characterised by an Adult-Adult dynamic, with each person accepting and respecting the value and uniqueness of the other. Communication is about seeking to understand the other person's point of view and then expressing your own truth as clearly as possible. There is a greater tolerance for the discomfort that comes with misunderstandings or differences of viewpoint or in values.
The real power and freedom of the Unity Triangle comes from placing God at the top of the Triangle. By opening our heart to God and surrendering to the flow of life in the Divine good plan for each person, we give freedom to ourselves and the other person. The burdens of perfectionism (Rescuer), false guilt (Victim) and a controlling spirit (Oppressor) can be lifted off our shoulders. We can trust God to guide us and provide for our needs, so taking the pressure off both sides of the equation. It becomes easier to be patient when waiting in a place of freedom. Compassion and kindness can manifest more readily when our heart is being filled by the abundance of God's creation and people. Relationships can flow in unity when the grace of God is at the centre of the three-corded strand that connects us with God and with each other.
The Pathway Balancing Journey focuses on relationships at the 2nd Level of the 'mountain' pathway. Begin your own Journey towards wholeness by contacting us for an appointment, or training place, by e-mailing firstname.lastname@example.org Corrina Kennedy, Peterborough, Cambridgeshire UK