Without noticing it was happening, you've become a beautiful 'swan'. You are sleek, strong and confident because of all you've gone through. You can handle things now that would've floored you in the past. Now you're ready to emerge and take the steps to build your new lifestyle. Your past was not a failure, it was your training ground, your refining fire. And now you're shining and clear.

I wrote about this advice, on being yourself, back in the March 2019 Newsletter. Sounds simple enough but you know how it goes. "Should I say something or not?", "What if I upset them?", "Will I look like a fool?", "What if everyone else disagrees with me?" So do you take the risk of speaking up and being truthful? How do you decide if it's better to keep quiet or to bow out of the conversation?

You know that feeling. You've arranged to meet up with friends then they cancel at the last minute. Or something you planned and prepared for is just not paying off, inspite of all your efforts. There's a sadness, or anger and maybe a feeling of vulnerability. You have to rethink your plans. All perfectly natural feelings but sometimes disappointment goes deeper than this. When there's an unresolved wound in your soul from disappointment within relationships, the effects can sabotage your best efforts at living a full and vibrant life. If there's also a root of disappointment with yourself, it could stop you in your tracks.

Was it still alive? It was a small grey bird of prey, wings and tail feathers spread out, face down. The gulls swooped at me! I stood over the bird and swung my arms up, bracing myself in case my fingers were bitten!

'The painless path is not the best one to look for, because even if you found one, you probably wouldn't end up where you wanted to go. I deeply appreciate the life I have now because it was painful to acquire. It required effort, diligence, and willingness to keep going when everything in me wanted to quit. My healing from abuse and the wounds that resulted was not a quick thing. It took a lot longer than I thought it would and was harder than I expected it to be, but I don't have the words suitable to tell you how wonderful and enjoyable it is.'

Has anyone ever said to you "Just be yourself"? That used to baffle me. At first I'd think "OK, so how do I do that?" In time I changed to thinking "But this IS me! Who else CAN I be?" The advice to "just be yourself" is usually given when you're trying to accomplish something and are probably feeling unsure or even anxious about the outcome. Maybe it's a job interview, first date or an important presentation and you want to make the right impression, say the right thing, look good and have a successful outcome. It's understandable that you might want to please the other person(s) and be accepted, so you try to behave in a way that gains their approval. However, the desire to please someone else, to adapt to their ways and avoid losing their approval, can mean we lose touch with who we really are.

We're familiar with the idea of renewal. For example, we might have to renew our car insurance every year. As we head into Spring, we see renewed life in lighter days and the sound of birdsong. But is it possible to renew our life path? I hope so. This is the theme I've observed over the past month, in clients and in my own personal development. The signs of personal renewal are illustrated by patterns seen in people's lives and the Journey Gateways that have come up in Pathway Balancing sessions.

Sometimes life knocks us to the floor. We hit bottom and don't know what to do. Maybe there's nothing we can do to change the situation, particularly if it involves the condition of another person. Then there are times when nothing seems to be happening. Nothing we do seems to work the way we want it to. All our efforts seems to be fruitless and just tire us out. These are some of the ways that zero points can manifest in our life.

Christmas has different meanings for different people. This year I've seen more homes with Christmas lights up in November than ever before. Is this some sort of desperation? In a largely spiritually unconscious society, is there a craving for something deeper in these dark days? The traditional church celebrates the birth of Jesus at this time of year, although the precise date of his birth is not recorded in history. The plastic nativity scenes that commemorate this world-changing event don't show the spiritual battle that was taking place as the Messiah was about to arrive.

Is there something in your past that you would like to be free from? Well the good news is that, by definition, you are free already. The past is behind you. It has passed. That time in your life has now gone. So really the problem is not in our past but in the present. It's the current effect from our past that can cause us problems.

One of the questions that baffled me for at least ten years was 'How Do You Limit Yourself?' I used to think, "Well if I knew that I'd stop doing it wouldn't I?" Slowly, in more recent years, I've managed to work the ever-changing answer out each time. I then know specifically what to aim for in order to expand beyond my limits in the year ahead. What helped me break through were the follow up questions "What has this cost you?" then "How has this benefited you?"

That lunchtime, as I walked past our Branch Manager's brand new 2017-Reg BMW5 to get to my 2002-Reg Citroen Saxo, I pondered on the question of career success. I could look back on times of success in my retail and sales career, with the company car, good salary and bonuses, yet I'd chosen to leave that pathway. I'd had the outer trappings of success but I'd felt empty inside and had no idea why. I didn't know it then but now I know that career pathway couldn't satisfy my soul.

So how do you determine a person's worth? Some Financial Advisors categorise clients as 'High Net Worth' if they have assets valued at more than £250,000. A company may decide an employee is worth a salary of £26,000 a year. An employment agency could set a person's worth at £8.40 an hour. How does a professional set their hourly client fee? Perhaps someone could be described as 'worth their weight in gold'. Or maybe each individual is actually priceless, and of inestimable value, as the unique creation and image of God. How then do you determine your own worth and value? Well this month I saw this question answered with one client after another, seeing different sides of the same coin so to speak.

So I said "How do you put up with this? Why don't you say something?" The reply was "Oh well, I just want a quiet life I suppose." I shook my head in disbelief and said "But you don't HAVE a quiet life! This is miserable!" The response was "Yeah, I know, but what can I do?" Living in anxiety and resentment, to avoid triggering someone else's emotional drama, is NOT the same as living in real peace. The price you pay for keeping your head down and your mouth shut is incalculable. You only have one life and there is more to it than just making it quietly to the grave.

People come for therapy or personal development out of either desperation or inspiration. Therapy is usually triggered by desperation. A personal development programme is more usually started by inspiration. In the UK, having therapy is still rather un-British, although a trend that is growing rapidly. Mainstream thought still seems to think it's weak to need help, or admit something is going wrong with your life. In my opinion, it takes courage to search for the right help and take that first step of turning up for an initial appointment. Many people now realise the NHS doesn't have all the solutions when it comes to finding root causes of illness and developing a healthy way of life.

Do you ever feel that no matter what you do, you just can't get it right? No matter how much effort you make, it just doesn't get any better? When an area of your life fails to bear fruit, for no obvious reason, it could be time to root out the deeper, unseen causes. I see a lot of people around me who avoid their deeper issues at all costs. Over time, this avoidance and denial costs them more and more. I see people in physical pain who complain because medical tests can't find any cause for their symptoms. I observe their fierce resistance to considering their own responsibility for dealing with their pain. I'm still amazed that so many people make no connection between physical illness and lack of rest. If an individual cannot comprehend so simple a cause, there is little hope of them making the connection between physical symptoms and emotional root causes. I feel very sad when I see people suffering because they refuse to go deeper and release their emotional pain, in order to help clear their physical and material problems. The thing is, their underlying wound probably wasn't their fault. They are carrying the pain and burden of false guilt.

Part 1 in this series was about laying the foundations for fulfilling your destiny. It included: 1. Nurture Your Health and Energy, 2. Establish Your Individuality, 3. Connect With Your Tribes and 4. Bring Out Your Identity.  Part 2 went into more advanced concepts for those at intermediate levels of development and change.
5. Revel in Your Bliss, 6. Structure Your Dream Life,  7. Overcome Your Resistance & 
8. Live in Your Personal Paradise. Finally, in Part 3, we explore the higher levels of awareness, which probably appeal to those who've been on a journey of spiritual growth for a few years, who may even be group leaders or holistic practitioners by now.

9. Allow Your Soul to Heal - ‘Healing of the Soul’

Once you reach a place in life that has a good degree of your personal Paradise on earth, you may need to give yourself some space. On the way to your destiny you had to overcome those obstacles, inner distractions and even some attacks along the way. Secure in the knowledge that things are going OK, you also have the confidence of looking back to see how much you’ve overcome. You have weathered the storms and can now drop your anchor and take some time out on the shores of peace.

Part 1 in this series was about laying the foundations for fulfilling your destiny. It included: 1. Nurture Your Health and Energy, 2. Establish Your Individuality, 3. Connect With Your Tribes and 4. Bring Out Your Identity. These foundational concepts would be familiar to people in the mainstream of holistic health, personal development and spiritual growth. In Part 2 we go into more advanced concepts, probably more suited to those at intermediate levels of development and change.

This Guide is a summary of the Pathway Balancing Journey, taking you through the higher levels of awareness that can lead you to your destiny and purpose. Every Step has been written down as I’ve worked with hundreds of people and their real life experiences. This material is a powerful source of received spiritual wisdom for your soul’s journey of embodiment and the discovery of who you are designed to be.