Do you ever feel that no matter what you do, you just can't get it right? No matter how much effort you make, it just doesn't get any better? When an area of your life fails to bear fruit, for no obvious reason, it could be time to root out the deeper, unseen causes. I see a lot of people around me who avoid their deeper issues at all costs. Over time, this avoidance and denial costs them more and more. I see people in physical pain who complain because medical tests can't find any cause for their symptoms. I observe their fierce resistance to considering their own responsibility for dealing with their pain. I'm still amazed that so many people make no connection between physical illness and lack of rest. If an individual cannot comprehend so simple a cause, there is little hope of them making the connection between physical symptoms and emotional root causes. I feel very sad when I see people suffering because they refuse to go deeper and release their emotional pain, in order to help clear their physical and material problems. The thing is, their underlying wound probably wasn't their fault. They are carrying the pain and burden of false guilt.
Ancestral Root Causes
Even in the earliest years of life, we display our unique personalty. There are sleepy babies and crying ones, runaway toddlers and cautious ones. We inhabit an atmosphere that meets us with physical and emotional responses. The adults and other children around us might be quiet people, or rough and noisy, or cuddly and caring or perhaps completely absent. We have no clue as to why they behave the way they do but we certainly feel it - emotionally and physically. A small child doesn't have a degree in psychology, hasn't learnt the art of mindfulness and can't quote Biblical principles in answer to a problem. Children and teenagers somehow have to get their needs met for survival, growth, development and fulfillment, within the context of an imperfect family. We are born into a bloodline that holds generations of patterning, cultural heritage and natural gifting.
Somehow, within this vast field of human experience, we each have to make it through each day to the best of our ability. So we learn to do what works. A child tries to figure out how to get a cuddle, or just some eye contact, or the answer to a question or the same things they see other children having. When those needs, hopes, desires or attempts at contact are not fulfilled, it can hurt. With no way of understanding the complex reasons for unfulfilled needs, the child simply drops into the feelings. Absorbed in their inner world, a youngster will find a way to cope - maybe escaping into their imagination, distracting themselves with things that feel nice or trying to figure out what they did wrong. The conclusion could be "I'm not good enough" or "I'll help them sort this out" or "Maybe if a wait a bit longer?" but all of these are self-delusions. In a world of imperfect people, we are likely to hurt each other at times but when a child is hurt by an adult, it is the adult that is responsible.
Spiritual Root Causes
Because I'm a Christian, I'm sometimes referred to as religious, when in fact I'm spiritual. If I mention my church it seems to evoke images of me watching back to back episodes of 'Songs of Praise' whilst whipping up a homemade cake for the next 'Bring & Buy' sale - hilarious! But if mainstream society is so unaware of the realities of a 21st Century Community Church, how will they grasp the effects of the spiritual realm when it comes to their wellbeing? Even some folks who follow a path of personal development will say things like "Well, if it's meant to be it'll all happen smoothly won't it? You just have to stay positive and you'll attract all the love and prosperity you want". After 27 years in the field of holistic health, personal development and spiritual growth, my own experience and observation is that it's not that simple. If it was, most of the nation would probably be muscle-toned, happily married, multimillionaires by now, and that's not what I see in our society. So what's in the way of our freedom to fulfill our dreams and desires?
Beyond the visible, physical realm is the invisible, spiritual realm. Spirit is life, an essence, an invisible form or unseen being. Just as there are flawed human beings who can hurt us, there are destructive spiritual forces that can harm us too. With mainstream society believing these entities are just silly ideas from science fiction or horror films, the malevolent spirits can have a field day in the lives of unaware individuals or groups. Our lifestyle attracts spiritual attention, whether we are aware of it or not. Just like butterflies to a flower bed and flies to a manure heap, wholesome and unwholesome spiritual forces are drawn to the 'scent' of a person's way of living. Without realising the consequences of personal choices, a person's unclean emotional wound attracts foul spirits. Healing begins when we stop being a victim. We aren't responsible for the way others live their lives. As an adult, we have the freedom to change direction, to face our demons and decide that, once and for all, they will be overcome. Take responsibility for the choices you make today. Let go of the people who've wounded you. Be real about your past mistakes and future potential. And when someone says something that's clearly insane or untrue, step back, forgive them and leave the burden of false guilt behind.
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To clear residues of emotional charge, I highly recommend this book by Dr Bradley Nelson - ‘The Emotion Code’
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